Commentary: “House” season finale

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT.

I’m beginning to wonder if the writers are also hooked on Vicodin.

The last episode ends with House in the hospital after his (graphic) attempt to take tumors out of his leg that grew because of his decision to inject muscle-strengthening medicine that hadn’t been fully tested. Ever-faithful Cuddy comes to the rescue, since Chase and Thirteen are busy helping one of Thirteen’s jail friends and Taub is almost murdered at a strip club.

So, needless to say, I was surprised to see the opening shots feature flashing lights, police cars and ambulances, and Cuddy’s stressed expressions. She replies, to a muted inquirer, that she never wants House near her hospital again.

Woah. I suspect at this point that he drastically treated a patient, which resulted in death, severe injury, or some other consequence that could have easily been avoided.

The screen turns black and reads, “THREE DAYS EARLIER.” We see House in his bed, surrounded by the usual doctors. He begins to watch a movie of someone preparing to light a woman on fire, who Chase puts down and Thirteen defends persistently. The woman turns out to be House’s new patient. Jumping to conclusions as usual, House leads Thirteen to discover that the woman is filming the diagnosis with a hidden camera; for the latest in her series of publicity-stunts-turned-art-forms, she will provide House with both real and false symptoms, and he and his team have to correctly diagnose her illness. She knows House will accept her challenge.

Simultaneously, Cuddy attempts to confront House and resolve the issues that stemmed from their breakup, but he deflects (as usual). Wilson plays his usual role, trying to talk House into sanity; this time, he complicates House’s gratification by making it nearly impossible for House to fill Vicodin prescriptions with Wilson’s name.

Then, it begins to get weird.

House correctly diagnoses the patient after several tries. That’s not unusual. Wilson driving House to Cuddy’s house when, upon seeing Cuddy on a double date, House forces Wilson out of the car and drives into Cuddy’s living room?

Didn’t see that one coming.

Understandably in shock, Cuddy and co. merely stand there, as does Wilson, when House slowly gets out of his car and hands Cuddy her hairbrush. He walks away, admitting that he “feels better now.”

The episode returns to the flashing lights, but the cameras focus on Wilson. He states that House will be somewhere to match his “dark mood”…namely, a bar.

The bar looks normal, but as House refuses to have another drink and turns around, we see a beach in broad daylight. He walks into the distance.

Another of House’s Vicodin visions? Possibly. But what if hours or days have passed between the dinnertime hit-and-run and the bar scene? And, since the car scene occurs in broad daylight, why did the police arrive at the scene in complete darkness? What piece of this disconnected puzzle are the viewers missing?

I guess we’ll have to wait until January. If, of course, the world doesn’t end first.

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