How Sharpie colors should be named

Like Crayola crayons, that is – by what they resemble.

The following are the first names that popped into my head as I looked at a handful of Sharpies:

– Raspberry Smoothie

– The Tan Slash Brown That One Can Find in Any Store

– Army Green

– J. Crew Dark Grey

– Big-Eyed Cartoon Frog Green

– School Jersey Purple

– Mango Sorbet

– Overcast Sky Blue

– Pretty Pretty Princess Purple

– Five-Year-Old Pink

– That Rich Dark Red That I Love

– Artificial Grass

– Translucent Shirt Pink

– Milk Chocolate

– I Want to Seem Daring and Crazy, But I’m Too Scared [Green]

– Indistinguishable Mix Between Blue and Green

– The Color I Always Think Is Black But Is Really Dark Navy

– The Perfect Example of the Primary Color Blue

– Orange You Glad I Just Made That Overused Orange Joke…Again?

– Neither Sunshine Nor Lemon

– That Awkward Shade That’s Only Slightly More Brown Than Every Other Hue

– A Light Pastel That Really and Truly Does Not Resemble Sea Foam

– What We Used to Color Apple Leaves in Elementary School

– Duller Than Bright Orange

– Look at Me, I’m Girly! Pink

Free association FTW. Feel free to draw your own conclusions, Freudians.

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